When you rotate a map of England to the right ninety degrees, it looks vaguely like a ragged old shoe. Could this be a clue to the political meaning behind the nursery rhyme “The Little Old Woman who Lived in a Shoe?”

Some historians believe the “Old Woman” is Great Britain’s King George II. He’s the fellow who started the 18th century craze for men wearing white powdered wigs, possibly giving rise to the Old Woman moniker. Apparently he was met with a good deal of insubordination while serving as sovereign and, like the elderly mother in the rhyme, had a crisis of planning when it came to his “children.”

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe.

She had so many children, she didn't know what to do;

She gave them some broth without any bread;

Then whipped them all soundly and put them to bed.

Some think “children” refers to parliament. We prefer the interpretation that points to the global empire of colonies under British rule. Could George II’s haughty mistreatment of his colonial possessions have been one of the root causes of the rebellion that occurred at the end of the century under his grandson, George III?

No one knows for sure who’s who in the nursery rhyme, but what is certain is this: Whether you’re ruling an empire or running a business, you need to plan carefully with the best information available.

IIINNN THIS CORNER… Never Enough Tiiiiime

IIINNN THIS CORNER… NNNot Enough Monnnneeyyy

Every day for a small business owner feels like fight night, not enough time versus not enough money. It’s a tough one because growing your way out of the pinch takes sales, and sales takes marketing. The OTHER problem is that Fast and Cheap solutions almost never give you what you expect.

The temptation is to join your competitors who are galloping full-tilt after leads and chasing down sales using a carpet-bombing approach, but a healthy, sustainable focus on marketing may get lost in the dust. And it only gets you part way there.

Lawyers, you've been summoned.

Is your current website hostis humani generis? Or perhaps you plead nolo contendere to the charge that your website isn't producing the clientele you were hoping for.

The state of your website leaves you in the unenviable condition of having to market your firm while you try to give full attention to billable hours. We argue a fortiori that your lack of business is due to this dilemma. Are we having too much fun with this legal wordplay? Guilty as charged.

We've all recieved both good and bad advice in our lives. The social media website, Reddit, has a lively page of bad advice. Take, for example, this guy who just wanted to know what to do with his incredible find:

"I found a grenade in the river but it's all rusty and stuff. How do I get the pin out? Is it safe to hammer out?"

Responses:

• I would recommend getting a second grenade and using the explosion from it to try and dislodge that pesky pin. Safety first.
• Warm it up first in the microwave. Give it 20 minutes. Then hammer it open.

 We can only shudder to think what advice this grenade-owner took. Unfortunately, not everyone in this world intends to help you out. 

At United WebWorks, our priority is helping you out. Don't worry - our goal is to bring you marketing advice that is tested, approved and practical. Unlike the Reddit users, we only give out advice that won't blow up in people's faces.

What do Toyotas, Restaurants and Elementary School Reading Groups have in common?

Levels, my friend… levels.

Everyone knew the "Butterfly Group," was the place for struggling readers, who could only feebly hope that one day they'd make it into the "Soaring Eagle" level.

Restaurants? We like to know what to expect, so off we go to Yelp or other review sites in an attempt to choose between good, better and best.

A Toyota Camry comes in L, LE, SE, and XLE flavors, each one sporting more or upgraded features than the one below it.